Letters to My Babies - Week 15

We are so thankful for this pregnancy! After sharing our journey through infertilty on the blog, I knew I wanted to log our newfound 40 week journey of pregnancy on the blog as well. Not knowing if I’ll ever be able to experience pregnancy again, I have chosen to log our pregnancy by writing occasional letters to our babies. The letters will keep my readers posted on how we are doing each week, but the letters will also be something that our little ones can go back and read, as a reminder of how much he or she was loved from the very beginning of their existence. You can read previous weeks by clicking on the following posts: Week 5, Week 7, Week 9, Week 12, Week 13.

I'm settling into my second trimester and feeling much better than I did in those first few weeks of pregnancy.  Overall, I'm feeling really good.  They say I’m supposed to get all of my energy back in my second trimester. That hasn’t happened yet.  I’m still pretty tired most of the time, but it is nothing like it was before.  At this point in my pregnancy, all sickness has subsided, my appetite is back, and I no longer feel bloated.  I also find myself sleeping through the night again.  While I do sleep through the night, falling asleep can be a little difficult. Trying to get comfortable in bed with a pregnant belly is not as easy as it sounds.  I know this will only get worse in the coming weeks.  Heartburn is also the most recent reason falling asleep has become a little difficult. I don’t notice heartburn throughout the day.  It seems to show up right around bed time and laying down makes it worse.  Let's just say, antacids have become my new friend.

My baby bump had a noticeable growth spurt this week, indicating that the two of you are growing just as you should be. My weekly pictures don't show much growth from weeks 11-14, but from week 14-15, I definitely notice the growth in my belly. It's weird, because I can actually feel my belly stretching some days.  It's a hard feeling to explain. I had that feeling a lot around week 12, and then this past week, it was very noticable again. I find myself lathering up with cocoa butter to prevent stretchmarks, but I'm not sure that's working too well. 

We have less than a week until our next ultrasound. Daddy and I can't wait to find out your genders!  We go back to the doctor at the end of the week to check on the placenta previa for Baby A, and we are secretly hoping to maybe find out your genders during that ultrasound. For some, 16 weeks is too early to know, and if that is the case for us, we will be forced to wait until our 20 week ultrasound.  We are anxiously waiting the planning and preparing part of your arrival, but so much of our planning is determined around whether we are having two girls, two boys or a boy and a girl.  We’ve been taking advantage of consignment sales and garage sales in our area, but we are limited on what we can buy, until we know what we are having. 

Daddy seems to think we are having a boy and a girl. I have no idea what to expect.  Any time we go in for an ultrasound, I find myself filled with anxiety and am just thrilled to hear heartbeats, so I haven't given your genders too much thought yet. We'll soon see if Daddy's supsicion is right.  We don't really have a preference on what we are having. There are advantages to both.  For example, if you are a boy and a girl, Daddy will get his boy to play sports with and do all sorts of whatever guys do to bond, and I will get my girl to dress up in ruffles and pink, have tea parties with and take with me on shopping trips.  At the same time, if you are the same gender, I can see you having a stronger bond throughout life and forever being the best of friends.  And I have to admit, it would be a lot easier for me to decorate a nursery if you are two girls or two boys.  Two girls would also be a lot easier to pick names for.  I think we know what we will name you if you are girls.  If you are two boys, I have a feeling you may forever be called Baby A and Baby B, because it seems as though Daddy and I will never agree on boy names.  Whether you are a boy and a girl, two girls or two boys, it doesn't really matter.  As long as our next ultrasound shows that the two of you are healthy and well, we will be thrilled.  We already love you both so much.  As each week passes we get more excited about your arrival.  Boy or girl, we just can't wait to safely deliver you and bring you home! 
 

Love,

Mommy

Letters to my Babies - Week 13

 

 We are so thankful for this pregnancy! After sharing our journey through infertilty on the blog, I knew I wanted to log our newfound 40 week journey of pregnancy on the blog as well.  Not knowing if I’ll ever be able to experience pregnancy again, I have chosen to log our pregnancy by writing occasional letters to our babies. The letters will keep my readers posted on how we are doing each week, but the letters will also be something that our little ones can go back and read, as a reminder of how much he or she was loved from the very beginning of their existence. You can read previous weeks by clicking on the following posts: Week 5, Week 7, Week 9, Week 12.

 

 

 

       We have officially made it to our second trimester!  We made it to 13 weeks of pregnancy yesterday!  To celebrate the end of our first trimester, we had a friend take a few pictures for us.  I'm sharing some of my favorite ones today.  Thank you Kingfish Photography for your time and talent!   Look them up on Facebook to see more of their work!

       In my ideal world, I would have kept this pregnancy private until my first trimester was over.  I always envisioned announcing the news with a fun creative photo shoot around 12 weeks. I’ve obviously been on Pinterest too much!  



 

       We did not keep our pregnancy a secret for obvious reasons.  We chose to share our pregnancy as soon as we knew, because we were publicly sharing our infertility on my blog.  People knew we started working with our fertility doctor again in July, and they were bound to ask us in August how that went.  We knew we couldn’t keep it a secret.  Truthfully, my belly would have given away this pregnancy a few weeks ago anyway, so I would have never been able to keep it a secret through my first trimester.

       Even though we announced our pregnancy around 4 weeks, we still went ahead and had some pictures taken around 12 weeks.  For us it wasn’t so much to announce the pregnancy…..everyone already knew.  It was more or less to celebrate the fact that we made it through what was supposed to be the high risk part of our pregnancy.  At 12 weeks, we have already had three ultrasounds.  We have had countless doctors appointments from the day we found out we were pregnant.  For us, these pictures symbolize the end of the scary part of this pregnancy.  The part where the doctors told us there was a chance we could lose our babies.  With each week of pregnancy, the risks went down and the chances of having a viable pregnancy went up.  Now that we have made it into the second trimester, the risk factor is no longer there.  We can now have a somewhat normal pregnancy…..well, hopefully we can.

       We are thrilled to enter our second trimester.  We have been so busy just trying to make it from one appointment to the next that we really have not fully enjoyed this pregnancy.  I’m looking forward to the next several weeks of planning and preparing for your arrival.  We love you both so much, and can not wait for you to make your grand entrance into the world! 

Love,
Mommy

Letters to my Babies: Week 12

         We are so thankful for this pregnancy! After sharing our journey through infertilty on the blog, I knew I wanted to log our newfound 40 week journey of pregnancy on the blog as well.Not knowing if I’ll ever be able to experience pregnancy again, I have chosen to log our pregnancy by writing occasional letters to our babies. The letters will keep my readers posted on how we are doing each week, but the letters will also, someday, be something that our little ones can go back and read over, as a reminder of how much he or she was loved from the very beginning of their existence. You can read week 5 here , week 7 here. and week 9 here.

 

We made it to 12 weeks of pregnancy this past Friday! That was a big milestone for us. For one, I no longer have to take 200 mg. of progesterone each night….yay!  Also, it indicates that the end of my first trimester is near.  I am already feeling better.  I still don’t have a lot of energy, but I’m no longer feeling sick all of the time.  I’ve also officially started to show within the past two weeks.  I think I’ve felt bloated and fat most of this pregnancy lol, but around 11 weeks, a pregnancy bump was definitely evident and has continued to grow.

Twin Baby Bump - 11 Weeks

Twin Baby Bump - 11 Weeks

Twin Baby Bump - 12 Weeks

Twin Baby Bump - 12 Weeks

We had our 12 week ultrasound and appointment on Friday.  It was our first ultrasound with our OB.  Overall, it went well, but we quickly noticed that it was less personable than all of our RE appointments and ultrasounds.  I’ve seen our OB numerous times prior to this pregnancy.  It’s the same doctor I have seen for a few years, and the same doctor who discovered some of our fertility issues and referred us to a fertility specialist.  We have a very good doctor.  Apparently, she is so good that everyone seems to want her as their doctor.  As a result, the nurses tell us she is one of the hardest doctors to get an appointment with.  All of my past appointments have always felt a bit rushed, but I will say that she has always listened to me and my needs.  Friday’s appointment was no different.  Both our ultrasound and 12 week appointment felt a little rushed, and once again made me ponder the benefits choosing of a midwife and a home birth over a typical doctor/hospital birth.

Midwives have become very popular with other women my age.  Some hospitals even let midwives or dulhas assist in the births at the hospital.  To my knowledge, our hospital does not have that policy.   I also do not believe that our insurance covers it, and with Daddy’s insurance changing in January, only offering a high deductible plan, we are already a little curious about how high our delivery cost will be.  We plan on delivering you at St. Vincent Carmel, and while the facility is very nice, I am a little hesitant.  For example, I don’t like the idea of knowing that my doctor may not even be delivering you.  Which ever doctor is on call will be delivering you, so there is a good chance it will be a doctor I’m not even familiar with.  I also know that there may be some complications with twins that may require a c-section.  I am obviously open to a c-section if it is necessary, but I don’t want to feel pressured into to having a c-section.  I haven’t even discussed a birth plan with our doctor yet, but seeing as how this may be the only pregnancy I get to experience, I truly do want to experience every aspect of pregnancy…...even delivery, as crazy as that may sound.   

Daddy is completely against the idea of a midwife or home birth, considering the possible complications of this pregnancy.  I too understand that a midwife may not be for us, considering the fact that medical technology has played a big role in how the two of you were conceived and have continued to thrive thus far.  However, I do love the idea of a midwife.  In my ideal world, we would have said years ago we wanted to have a baby…..gotten pregnant right away….hired a midwife….had a joyous uncomplicated pregnancy……delivered at home naturally…..and would have even hired professional birthing photographer to capture all of the emotions of birth on film for us to have for a lifetime (maybe I’ve been reading too many pregnancy blogs lately lol).  But we do not live in an ideal world.  In my real world, we couldn’t get pregnant right away.  We sought medical treatment to help get us pregnant.  We DID get pregnant with help…YAY….but we were told it was high risk for the first trimester and had to be watched carefully up until this point.  So in my real world, I will not be surprised if I have a not so ideal labor.  Realistically, my labor and delivery will happen how it happens, and that's just the way it is.

 

Other than feeling a little rushed at our appointment on Friday, it went fairly well. The ultrasound showed two healthy babies with two healthy heartbeats.  Baby B has always been a little bigger than baby A, and this third ultrasound showed the slight size difference once again.  Neither baby was active in Friday’s ultrasound. The ultrasound tech said you were both probably sleeping.  They did find a minor problem with Baby A.  Baby A has not moved up into my upper uterus like Baby B.  Apparently, Baby A is content to stay low and grow right over my cervix, creating a condition called placenta previa. Placenta previa is not a huge concern at 12 weeks, but it is something to keep an eye on.  We have to go back at 16 weeks for another ultrasound to see if Baby A has moved away from my cervix.  If not, then we may be a little more concerned.  We are trusting that Baby A is just a little slower than Baby B and will move up in time. Right now it’s not a huge concern, but it could definitely cause some complications in the second half of my pregnancy if Baby A doesn’t move up into my uterus.  Basically, placenta previa can cause hemorrhaging and early labor. You can read more about placenta previa here. 

 

I don’t have any 3D ultrasound pictures to show today.  The pictures that I do have are not the best.  We had a new tech on Friday.  As I said before, it was a little rushed.  Only a few quick pictures were taken to see that the two of you were healthy, and then the ultrasound was over.  Such a change from the first two ultrasounds, where our RE and tech were just as excited to see the two of you on the screen as we were.  In both of those ultrasounds, they took the time to get us the best pictures they could, and they always labeled the two of you Baby A and Baby B.  Friday’s ultrasound was just less personable, and you were labeled Fetus A and Fetus B.  I am sure that is just proper protocal, but you are not just a 12 week old fetus.  You are my precious babies that I have watched grow every few weeks and will continue to watch grow over the next two months.  By the time you are 20 weeks, I will have had five ultrasounds.  Not too many people get to see their baby’s grow inside of them, so it has certainly been special to watch the life inside of me grow from only six weeks of pregnancy.  There is no doubt that you are life!

Baby A 12 week ultrasound

 

Baby B 12 week ultrasound

Love,
Mommy

Letters to my Babies - Week 9

 

 

We are so thankful for this pregnancy! After sharing our journey through infertilty on the blog, I knew I wanted to log our newfound 40 week journey of pregnancy on the blog as well.Not knowing if I’ll ever be able to experience pregnancy again, I have chosen to log our pregnancy by writing occasional letters to our babies. The letters will keep my readers posted on how we are doing each week, but the letters will also, someday, be something that our little ones can go back and read over, as a reminder of how much he or she was loved from the very beginning of their existence. You can read week 5 here and week 7 here.

This letter is a few days late, but today is the first day since our last doctor’s appointment that  I’ve actually felt like sitting down and writing, or doing much of anything for that matter.  I had about four days in a row where pregnancy symptoms made me feel as if I had been wiped out with the flu.  Like most women, my first trimester has been spent feeling sick.  Some days are just worse than others, and then once in a while, I get a good day.  Today is a good day, and I’m thankful for that.

 

On Wednesday, we went in for our last appointment with our RE!  It was a little bitter-sweet to say goodbye to our fertility doctor and nurses who we have been working with since January.  They have requested pictures of you once you are born, which we gladly told them we would send.  Then we gave hugs, thanked them for all of their help with getting us pregnant, and left the office for the last time.  YAY!  It was another pregnancy milestone for us.  My doctor told me that it appeared the problem was simply getting me pregnant, because now that I am pregnant, things could not possibly be looking any better than what they are! He is beyond trilled with my progress and how well the two of you are doing, considering the fact that we were labeled a high-risk pregnancy from the very beginning.  It was such a relief to hear him say those words. From the very first time we saw those two pink lines on a HPT, things have gone smoothly for us and without any complications.  We couldn’t be happier about that!  We were told it would be a high-risk first trimester, and they have kept us under close care from the beginning.  Thankfully, every checkup has indicated a normal, healthy first trimester.  After experiencing such disappointment with our infertility, this whole pregnancy process has been more than we could have ever asked for!  Each checkup is just a reminder of how blessed we really are. 

 

One of the good things about being under such close care in my first trimester is that we have to have ultrasounds around 6, 9 and 12 weeks.  Most people don’t get to actually see their babies on a screen that often and as early as we have.  It has probably been the biggest perk of this whole process for me.  I think I may actually go through ultrasound withdrawals once we enter the second trimester, as I won’t get another ultrasound until we find out your genders.  It has been the neatest thing to see how much you are growing and developing this early in our pregnancy.  I knew that you were LIFE from conception, but if anyone has doubts that you are life even this early, I just point to my ultrasound pictures.  I point to your little hearts that were clearly beating at our six week ultrasound and to your little bodies that were clearly formed by our nine week ultrasound.   You were life from the very beginning, and don’t let anyone ever tell you differently.  You will be born into a world where the life of the unborn is not valued by many.  The earliest lesson I can teach you is that whether you were planned or unplanned…..it doesn’t really matter…..you are not just a nine week old fetus…..you are two precious LIVES growing inside of me.   



At nine weeks Baby B is blurry due to constant movement, while Baby A is calm and relaxed.

It was surreal to see the two of you in our first ultrasound.  That was, of course, the first time we were officially told we were having twins.  In our second ultrasound, it was crazy to see how much you have already grown.  I’m told you are the size of an olive at nine weeks.  Even at that size, your little heads, arms, legs, round bellies and umbilical cords were clearly seen in the ultrasound.   When you first appeared on the screen, the first words out of our doctor’s mouth were, “Wow they are really growing and getting big!” This might also explain why I am already starting to show so early in my pregnancy.   The nine week ultrasound may have also given us our first glimpse into your individual personalities.  Baby A was very still in all of our pictures and seemed to be calm, cool and relaxed.  In fact, Baby A had a perfect pose for the 3D ultrasound picture.  I’ll be curious to see if you stay this way, and if you do indeed have your father’s low-key personality.  Baby B, on the other hand, seemed less content.  You moved around the entire time they were probing me and trying to get some pictures.  You are blurry in every single one of your pictures, because you were moving so much! In your 3D ultrasound, you look like a gummy bear rather than a baby, due to your constant movement!  I’ll be curious to see if you were just active during the ultrasound, or if your personality is just busier than Baby A and a little less content.  If so, you take after your mother. 

 

Baby A 9 week 3D ultrasound

Baby B 9 week 3D ultrasound

After our ultrasound with the RE, we had to go to the hospital where we will be delivering you, to sit down with a nurse to go over paper work, basic pregnancy health with multiples and my basic first trimester blood work.  Rather than taking my over the counter vitamins, the nurse is making me switch to a prescription prenatal, folic acid and vitamin B6 in hopes of it all helping my nausea.   She also prescribed something to help with my pregnancy digestion issues, in hopes that I would be less bloated and have more of an appetite.  She believes much of my nausea is blood sugar related, since I was hypoglycemic prior to pregnancy.  With some of her tips for eating and the new prescriptions, I’m hanging on to hope that I feel a little better in the last few weeks of this trimester than I did in the first few weeks.

 

Less than three weeks until our first appointment with our OB and another ultrasound.  I’m anxiously waiting to see your growth and am excited to know that we are very close to finishing out the first trimester of this pregnancy.

 

Love,

Mommy

Letters to my Babies (yes, I said babies!!!) - Week 7

We are so thankful for this pregnancy! After sharing our journey through infertilty on the blog, I knew I wanted to log our newfound 40 week journey of pregnancy on the blog as well. Not knowing if I’ll ever be able to experience pregnancy again, I have chosen to log our pregnancy by writing occasional letters to our babies. The letters will keep my readers posted on how we are doing each week, but the letters will also, someday, be something that our little ones can go back and read over, as a reminder of how much he or she was loved from the very beginning of their existence. You can read week 5 here. 

 

 

Well, at seven weeks we found out that there is not just one of you inside of me, but TWO of you!!!  I can not tell you how blessed we are to be given such a gift!  It’s so surreal to think that a few months ago, I didn’t know if I would ever be able to get pregnant, and now I’m told that I’m pregnant with TWINS!!!

We have been suspecting twins from the very beginning of this pregnancy.  The initial blood work indicated that there might have been more than one of you when the test results revealed my HCG levels multiplying so fast.  However, only an ultrasound could confirm our suspicion.  Our very first ultrasound was a few days ago, and when the doctor gave me a big grin and held up two fingers during the first ultrasound, Mommy and Daddy were ecstatic to see the image of twin babies on the screen!  Two sacs were immediately seen, and the first heartbeat was detected rather quickly.  The doctor had a harder time finding the second heartbeat, which certainly brought a few moments of uneasiness, but once the second heartbeat was finally detected, happy tears of relief, gratitude and pure joy filled both Mommy and Daddy’s eyes.  It was so special to see your little heartbeats during our first ultrasound.  At only seven weeks, you have already begun developing major organs and have begun to sprout tiny arms and legs.  You are now the size of blueberries.  Still so very tiny, yet so full of life!

 

 I wish I could say that the effects on Mommy’s body were as tiny as you are, but that is not the case at all!  Mommy is still very tired and takes naps as often as I can.  Even less enjoyable than the fatigue is the constant state of nausea in which I now live.  I haven’t really been throwing up, so I guess that is a good thing.  I know it could be much worse, but my stomach feels queasy most of time.  It’s certainly not just in the morning, although I wish it was:/  I often wake up in the middle of the night feeling sick, so I quietly sneak downstairs to grab some saltine crackers or a piece of toast to help settle my stomach before trying to go back to bed. 

 

     Food aversions are also a big thing for me right now.  I swear NOTHING  to eat sounds good!  It’s making it really hard for me to consume healthy foods, like vegis, that I know my body needs.  I do drink a spinach, banana, apple and pear smoothie most days, but that’s about the only fresh produce I can seem to stomach lately.  You have no idea how much I wish I could just eat my normal diet again.  I find that I am eating a lot of scrambled eggs and toast, and I snack on wheat thins throughout the day.  I am getting plenty of water, and I am doing my best to down a glass of organic, no-sugar added, prune juice on a regular basis to help with all of the lovely digestive issues that come along with being pregnant.  I swear I have never felt so bloated in all my life!  And according to my research, the only thing I can do about it is to drink prune juice, which if you can’t tell, Mommy HATES the taste of! 

 

I know that I must not just feel bloated, but I must look bloated too.  I know this, because today a stranger asked how far along I was!!!  I wanted to cry when I said, “only seven weeks.”  I did quickly add, “but it’s twins”, to hopefully justify the fact that someone actually asked me if I was pregnant so early in this pregnancy:/  Knowing that you are only the size of blueberries, I am very aware that you are not the reason my shorts felt a little tight this morning.  I completely blame this on progesterone.  It’s a lovely hormone that slows down digestion to make sure the both of you are getting all the nutrients you need.  While it is making you healthy and well, it is making Mommy feel bloated and miserable.  My stomach looks and feels like a giant balloon!  And just to make sure I have enough progesterone to keep you healthy and well, I have been prescribed additional 200mg of progesterone daily for the past five weeks, and I still have an additional five weeks to go before hopefully being told I no longer have to take it.  Inspite of the way I may look and feel, I am thankful for all of it!  I'm thankful because it means I am indeed pregnant, and that's something I will never take for granted!

 

Daddy has been a big help since I have been feeling sick so much of the time.  He helps take care of the laundry and basic house work that I am just too tired to get to.  He has also been great to run errands for me and pick up groceries on the weekends that I just don’t feel like getting out of bed.  When I do get a sudden burst of energy and have a few hours where I feel human again, Daddy has been great to try to get me out of the house.  Today, I had a few hours when I didn’t feel sick (YAY!), so Daddy took me out to dinner to celebrate the fact that we are having twins!  Although two bites into my meal, I was finished with it.  It’s the same meal I always order at this particular restaurant, but today it made my stomach turn!  Ah, the joys of pregnancy:)  Daddy also took me to get a pedicure, and best of all, we went to a few baby stores to get an idea of all of the things we can expect to purchase for your arrival.  I warned your father to not get too freaked out about the cost of having one baby, let alone two babies!  But you should have seen your father’s face when he saw for himself how much everything costs.  In all honesty, we are not really too concerned about the money part of having two babies.  We spent a lot of money to try to conceive the both of you, and we know that it will take a lot of money to provide for you.  Yet, somehow God always provides our financial needs, and we know He will prove Himself faithful once again.

 

 

Feeling beyond blessed,

Mommy

Letters to my baby - Week 5

We are so thankful for this pregnancy!  After sharing our journey through infertilty on the blog, I knew I wanted to log our newfound 40 week journey of pregnancy on the blog as well.  Not knowing if I’ll ever be able to experience pregnancy again, I have chosen to log our pregnancy by writing a weekly letter to our baby.  The letters will keep my readers posted on how we are doing each week, but the letters will also, someday, be something that our little one can go back and read over, as a reminder of how much he or she was loved from the very beginning of their existence. 

 

I’ve only known about your existence for a week, and yet there are no words to describe how much joy you have already brought into my life! I am beyond thrilled that God has chosen to bless us with you!  You are our miracle; our answer to prayer! 

Daddy prays over you every night and every morning.  It’s so cute to watch him talk to my tummy.  I remind him of your actual size and how you are not really in my tummy yet, but he doesn’t seem to care.  He talks to you like you can understand everything he’s saying, and it’s really quite precious.  He is going to be a great daddy!  He also sings lullabies to you every night, so I apologize in advance if you come into this world tone-deaf;) 

You are still so very tiny!  According to my pregnancy reading, you are only 5 mm.  You already have a tiny heartbeat, and you are in the process of growing your major organs.  You are growing every day, and I am only reminded that even at your size, you are still life!  

 

It’s amazing how such a tiny thing has already affected my body.  Fortunately, I’ve only been a little sick so far.  The biggest change I have noticed is fatigue.  I have been tired this week!  I feel like I could crash on the couch all day.  I am making an effort to rest, but I also know that doing nothing all day is not good for me.  Lucky for you, you have a determined mama.  I was determined to do all that I could to conceive you, and I am determined to do all that I can to safely bring you into this world.  Tired or not, I’m doing my best to schedule in walks each day as well as some light exercise.  After reading all about a healthy pregnancy diet, your daddy is making sure that I put nothing into my mouth that isn’t healthy for you!  He’s become the food police in our home. This could get a little annoying over the next 35 weeks, but I’m sure we’ll thank him for it later.  In all honesty, pregnancy symptoms have not been too bad so far.  I feel the same way I did when I was on several months of hormone therapy for fertility treatments.  The only difference between then and now is that instead of my body feeling out of sorts to try and get pregnant, my body is feeling out of sorts because I am pregnant.   I’d say you are definitely worth any pregnancy symptom that comes my way!

 

It’s still very early in the pregnancy, and there is a little part of me that fears we won’t be able to bring you into this world safely.  The doctors have been wonderful and are doing all they can for us.  So far, all of our prayers have been answered above and beyond, and everything is looking to be very good even though it’s still early.  Overall, I have a peace about this pregnancy.  I know that the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.  However, I am choosing to believe that God will answer our prayer, and we will be able to deliver you full term, safely and without any complications.  I truly believe that and have a peace that all will be well.

 

Love,

Mommy

Infertility Update: We are Pregnant!

 

 

For this child have I prayed; and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of him: I Samuel 1:27

 

For those of you following our infertility journey, you know that by now Matt and I should have known if our treatment plan for July worked, or if we needed to move onto our treatment plan for August.

 

I am very excited to share with you all…

 

…that our July fertility treatments WORKED!!!!

 

YES, we are PREGNANT!!!!

 

 

          The above picture was taken last week.  We have known about this exciting news for a few days, but decided not to share the news until we went through two rounds of beta testing to confirm that the baby is developing as it should be and that the pregnancy is viable….meaning that at this point, there are no signs of an upcoming miscarriage.   If I didn’t have this blog as my platform to open up about our journey with infertility, I’m certain that we would not be sharing our joyous news this early in the pregnancy.  I guarantee, we would wait until the first trimester was over to go public with this news.  However, since so many people do know where we are at on our journey, it would be really hard to keep such news a secret for long;)

          In some ways, I think going through the valley of infertility has robbed us of the normal pregnancy experience that most people get to enjoy.  For most people, a pregnancy may go something like this: you take an HPT and find out you're pregnant, celebrate with those you love, schedule your first OB ultrasound for around 8wks (fully expecting to hear the baby’s heartbeat and share a very happy moment with your significant other), plan fun ways to publicly announce your pregnancy (maybe with a fun photo shoot thanks to all of the wonderful Pinterest ideas), and then go on your merry way for the remainder of the pregnancy enjoying (or maybe not-so-enjoying) all of the things that come along with being pregnant.   

 

          For us, it is a little different.  We are trying to take one thing at a time.  We have what we are calling our pregnancy hurdles. We've already had two hurdles, and we're not even quite five weeks pregnant yet.  We had to get through two rounds of blood work this week, and the next hurdle is our first ultrasound.  As many who struggle with infertility know, getting pregnant is one thing (one really BIG thing for us, because we have not been able to achieve it until now), but staying pregnant is another.  The same factors that contributed to our infertility also put us at a high risk for an early miscarriage.  The doctors are keeping a close eye on me.  So far so good, but it’s still really early in our pregnancy.

     When I took my HPT (home pregnancy test), it was the first and only HPT I took this cycle.  I took the test at 13DPO (days past ovulation) fully expecting a negative result.  I mean, of course I always hope for a positive, but the reality is that I’ve probably taken over a hundred HPTs since we’ve been trying to get pregnant, so I am groomed to expect a negative.  Plus it was still early….before an expected period…and I didn’t ovulate until CD16.  Imagine my surprise when I immediately saw two pink lines and realized we were very PREGNANT!  I was elated to say the least.  From our bathroom, I screamed to Matt, who was still in bed, that WE WERE PREGNANT!!!!  He jumped out of bed, even more surprised by the news than me, and we hugged each other and cried for what seemed like a very long time. I mean, we cried!!!!  We rejoiced and gave thanks for what we knew was a miracle!  I was screaming and crying with such emotion that words could not even come out of my mouth!  Matt too was crying with joy, and he rarely cries.  

          That exciting moment could only last a short time before my reality set in.  I knew that whenever we did get pregnant, I was at a high risk for a miscarriage.  I called my RE first thing that morning, and they wanted me to come in for beta testing immediately.  I was a little apprehensive about the results of my blood work.  For most women, a postive HPT would be enough to keep them excited, but I only had a few hours to enjoy the HPT before worrying about the bloodwork.  I knew they were not only looking at my HCG levels but also my progesterone levels.  Progesterone is vital to achieving and maintaining a pregnancy.  I do not make enough progesterone on my own, so I am prescribed progesterone post ovulation and will have to take it until 10 weeks of pregnancy.  Three hours after I had my blood drawn, the nurse called with my results.  Fortunately, the progesterone levels looked good!  The HCG results were also good in my first round of betas!  I mean.... VERY good!!!  HCG is the hormone that a woman’s body makes during pregnancy, and an HPT is positive when HCG levels are as low as 5.  I was only 4 weeks pregnant and my HCG levels were 362.  Implantation occurs anywhere from 7-12DPO, and then HCG is usually detected 48 hours after implantation.  Doctors are looking for HCG to double every 48 hours.  The fact that I was only at 13DPO when I tested and my numbers were at 362, meant that I was probably MORE than doubling my HCG levels every 48 hours prior to our first beta tests.  That was very exciting to say the least! 

 

          Even with that high number of HCG, we still had some concern.  We had to go back after 48 hours to see if my numbers had doubled.  The doctors needed to make sure my numbers were doubling, and the only way to do that is to have more blood work done and compare the two results.  This was probably the most nerve-racking part for me so far. Even though my first beta results were high, it didn’t mean anything if they didn’t double in my next beta results.  If my numbers didn't double, it indicated that my body was rejecting the pregnancy, potentially leading to an early miscarriage.  I’ll admit that doubt began to creep into my mind, as I anxiously waited three hours for the test results.  I certainly wondered if this was all too good to be true.  To be honest, I will probably still have a lot of those moments throughout this pregnancy, considering how hard it was for us to even get to this point. When the phone call came with the second tests results, taken 72 hours after the first, they came back at 1,783.  YAY!!! They more than doubled.  The doctors seemed happy enough with those results to not order any more betas for me, and we do not have to go back to the RE until August 21, for our very first OB ultrasound! I have had numerous fertility ultrasounds, so it is very exciting to know the doctors will be looking for a baby instead of just looking for something wrong with, what I have come to call, my broken ovaries and uterus.

          We are excited about our first OB ultrasound, but also a little nervous.  Again, when you’re told you are at a high risk for a miscarriage, it kind of makes you on edge.  The ultrasound will put us around 6wks 5dys.  We are praying that we hear a healthy baby’s heartbeat during our first ultrasound and are given the green light to leave the care of our RE and move onto the care of an OB.  I think when I finally hear the baby’s heart beat I will be able to relax a little and this whole thing will seem more real for me.  Even if the ultrasound turns out fine, I think the first trimester is still going to be the scariest part of this pregnancy for me, simply because the first trimester is when the risk for a miscarriage is at its highest.

 

          So that’s where we are on our journey.  A pregnancy has been achieved, and we are currently at 4wks 3 days!  It is still VERY early, so please keep us in your prayers.  We are thankful for the positive HPT and the good results from my blood work.  We also know we still have a very long road ahead of us, and these next few weeks are critical.  Thank you to all who prayed for me and encouraged me through this journey.  Infertility is probably the hardest thing that I have ever had to go through, and at times I thought that I would never be able to write a blog post announcing a pregnancy. There was no greater feeling of defeat for me than when I was told that we may never be able to get pregnant, even with fertility treatments.  Infertility has groomed me to expect disappointment, but today I do not write about our disappointment… I write about our excitement and joy.  To my friends who, like me, know infertility all too well, never give up hope.  God is the God of miracles.  My journey is only proof of that.

 

 

 

To read more about our journey through infertility, click the following links:
 

Looking back on 2012 and Looking forward to 2013

 

IUI Scheduled For February

 

Explaining an IUI

 

Why go Public with Something so Private

 

The Beginning of a Long Process

 

The Raw Emotions of It All

IUI Results

Beginning Treatments Again