In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. ~ Proverbs 3:6

Monday, February 24, 2014

Letters to my Babies - Week 33

We are so thankful for this pregnancy! After sharing our journey through infertilty on the blog, I knew I wanted to log our newfound 40 week journey of pregnancy on the blog as well. Not knowing if I’ll ever be able to experience pregnancy again, I have chosen to log our pregnancy by writing occasional letters to our babies. The letters will keep my readers posted on how we are doing each week, but the letters will also be something that our little ones can go back and read, as a reminder of how much he or she was loved from the very beginning of their existence. You can read previous weeks by clicking on the following posts: Week 5, Week 7, Week 9, Week 12, Week 13, Week 15, Week 16, Week 18, Week 19, Week 21, Week 22, Week 24,  Week 28, Week 30.

We've made it to 33 weeks!  Only a few more weeks to go!  A lot has gone on since my last post three weeks ago.  For one, the snow has finally started to melt, and for the first time in a long time I can see the grass again!

More snow is sure to come, but the green grass is just a sign of spring being around the corner.  This year particularly, the arrival of spring means the arrival of my babies, so forgive me if I am a little more excited than usual about melting snow and sunshine!

Also, Daddy and I celebrated our last Valentine's together as a family of two.  He is always so thoughtful, and I couldn't ask for a better man for the two of you to look up to and hopefully one day be just like.  As you grow up, notice the way he treats me....with love and respect. This is the kind of treatment that will be expected from you towards your Mama, your future wives, and women in general.  Don't just learn by me telling you, but learn by the example he sets for you.

Along with celebrating Valentine's Day, Mommy turned thirty last week.  Turning thirty marks a big life change for me. Motherhood is just a few weeks away, and I don’t take that for granted.  A year ago, I spent my 29th birthday recovering from an IUI to try to get pregnant, only to find out two weeks later that the procedure would not take, and we were not pregnant.  When I go back and read this blog entry about those IUI results, it still brings tears to my eyes.  I spent the next few months accepting that I may not ever be able to get pregnant, yet here I am one year later, pregnant with twin boys. It turns out being 30 isn't so bad.  You can read more about my simply perfect birthday here

Other than snow and celebrations, the past few weeks have brought changes to my body.  I’ve really noticed my body preparing itself for your arrival.  1) Braxton Hicks contractions are happening frequently, and at times they are more than uncomfortable.  I know they are not active labor contractions, because they are still very sporadic.  At times, my contractions may be five or six minutes apart, while other times they are still an hour apart.  To cope with the contractions, I'm resting a lot more than I would like to be and am drinking plenty of water.  2) You boys have dropped since my last post, and carrying you so low is quite uncomfortable.  I swear it feels as if you are going to fall right out of me some days!  3) I'm just getting downright big!  I seriously don't know how my body is going to stretch anymore than it already has.  My stomach literally feels bruised, and each time you move the soreness only intensifies. 
I am now at a point in this pregnancy where I am seeing the doctor on a weekly basis.  Around 31 weeks, I called the doctor, because I was having a considerable amount of pelvic pressure.  During that appointment, the doctor was checking my cervix and discovered that Baby A’s head was right on my cervix. This was clearly the culprit of my pelvic pressure and discomfort.  During that appointment, my cervix was still closed, but partially effaced. I was sent home without any restrictions, although I did start to cut back on some of my physical activity after that appointment.

At 32 weeks, we had a routine growth ultrasound and discovered Baby A jumped from 2 lbs. 12 oz. to 4 lbs. 3 oz. in one month's time, while Baby B jumped from 2 lbs. 9 oz. to 4 lbs. 5 oz.  You’ve been around the 50th percentile this entire pregnancy.   While you were still measuring in the 50th percentile for your 32 week growth ultrasound, the very thought of delivering two normal sized babies to 38 weeks was overwhelming to me.  The following Facebook post clearly shows how I was feeling right after that appointment…….
“We went in for our 32 week growth ultrasound this morning. The babies have definitely grown this month. Baby A (Aaron Elijah) measures 4 lbs. 3.oz and Baby B (Ethan Matthew) measures 4 lbs. 5 oz. So at 32 weeks, I already have close to 9 lbs. of baby in me, plus they each have their own placentas and amniotic fluid. They will not induce me until 38 weeks. I'm not gonna lie, the very thought of having to make it six more weeks brings actual tears to my eyes. With an expected weight gain of .5 lbs. per baby each week from this point on, 38 weeks puts the boys around 7.5 pounds each. That's 15 lbs. of baby in me! As I was lying on the ultrasound table doing the math in my head, I actually started to cry thinking of that thought. And in the waiting room as we were waiting to be seen by the doctor after the ultrasound, I'm sitting there sobbing, looking like a pregnant mess to others I'm sure, telling my husband that "I just can't do it...I just can't go six more weeks....I can't deliver 15 lbs of baby.....I can't make it that long.....I'm so miserable already.....I'm only 5.2 with a short torso and I married a tiny Asian man, how in the heck did we create two average sized babies....we're not big people, I thought for sure we'd make tiny babies....I haven't had any pregnancy cravings, have been watching my sugar and do not have gestational diabetes, how am I ending up with two 7+ lbs. babies in me by the time they want to induce at 38 weeks!" Yeah, it was not my finest moment for sure."

At 33 weeks, my fears of having to deliver 15 lbs. of baby were put to ease.  At that appointment, the doctor told us she highly doubts I will make it to a 38 week induction.  She expects you to arrive in a couple of weeks, as I was already starting to dilate at that appointment.  I was less than a cm. dilated, so I was sent home without any restrictions.  Every woman is different.  I could be walking around dilated for a month before going into labor, or it could happen much sooner than that.  I will say that I feel like I could go into labor at any time.  Even small amounts of physical activity puts me into contractions, so I am forced to take things much easier than I would like to.  We really do want to keep you in till at least 36 weeks.  Even though I have no specific restrictions from a doctor, Daddy and I have agreed to cut back my hours at work considerably, so I can spend much of my day off of my feet and resting.  He is also not allowing me to do much of anything around the house.  He has taken on all of the grocery shopping, the cleaning and the cooking.  While I love that he is so concerned about all three of us, it kills me to not be able to do those things.  I hate having to watch him work a full day and then come home and take care of responsibilities that I would normally be doing. 
Other than all of the physical discomforts of this last bit of pregnancy, we are still making progress in preparing for your arrival. Since my last post, we had our church baby shower. We are certainly blessed with a wonderful church family who can’t wait to meet you.

We’re feeling more and more prepared as each week passes. Over the past few weeks, we've....

1) purchased the remaining items that we needed for your arrival
2) packed the diaper bag, and it's ready to go
3) packed my hospital bag, and it's waiting by the door with a list of last minute items for Daddy to put in the bag before we leave
4) have the carseats ready to be put in the car, and Daddy is taking them to get inspected this weekend
5)  have the stroller ready to go
6) have the bassinets ready for you in our room
7) put the baby moniter up in the nursery
8) assembled all of the baby gear and put batteries in everything
9) took a birthing class at the hospital to better prepare us for labor and delivery

We still have a few more small things to buy here and there, and I want to make sure the house is cleaned really well before you come, along with getting the freezer and pantry stocked up. I guess those are all things to work on next weekend.

Other than that, I think that we are as ready as we are going to be for our big day.  We are certainly looking forward to meeting you face to face.  It feels like it's taken forever to get to this point.  It won't be long now.   Seeing you face to face will be here before we know it. 


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