Thursday, April 3, 2014
Letters to my Babies - Finally Here!
We are so thankful for this pregnancy! After sharing our journey through infertilty on the blog, I knew I wanted to log our newfound 40 week journey of pregnancy on the blog as well. Not knowing if I’ll ever be able to experience pregnancy again, I have chosen to log our pregnancy by writing occasional letters to our babies. The letters will keep my readers posted on how we are doing each week, but the letters will also be something that our little ones can go back and read, as a reminder of how much he or she was loved from the very beginning of their existence. You can read previous weeks by clicking on the following posts: Week 5, Week 7, Week 9, Week 12, Week 13, Week 15, Wee16, Week 18, Week 19, Week 21, Week 22,Week 24, Week 28, Week 30, Week 33, Week 35.
You’re here! We did it! We successfully brought two healthy twin boys into this world! 37 Weeks. That’s how long I made it with you inside of me. That’s full term for twins. Those last few weeks were physically awful! Neither I nor my doctor thought that I would carry you that long! I was dilated for weeks….I was having contractions for weeks…..I had Baby A’s head on my cervix for weeks…. yet somehow, I managed to keep you inside of me until my 37th week of pregnancy!
I continued working until the 35th week. Those last two weeks at home waiting for your arrival went by slowly. Daddy would come home from work and find me crying every day. I truly did not know how I was going to be pregnant any longer! Towards the end, my belly was so heavy I could barely walk. In hindsight, I’m glad I was able to keep you inside of me for as long as I did, because on
twenty-four hours of labor and weeks of misery (and yes, I will always remind you of
that), we welcomed two healthy, beautiful baby boys into the world.
Aaron Elijah (Baby A), entered the world weighing 5 lbs. 7 oz. Tiny but mighty, you are my dominant twin. I love how when you sleep, you often have your hands up by your head, as if you don’t have a care in the world. Your personality in the womb is exactly what we expected outside of the womb. You have a set of lungs on you, and if you don’t like something, you have no problem letting us know. You hate diaper changes, and losing your pacifier in your sleep really annoys you. You love to be held. You are my needy little guy. If someone would hold you all day long, you’d be thrilled. Daddy said that as soon as the nurses started washing you off after birth, you were looking around at your new world, bright-eyed and full of curiosity. You speak with your eyes. Your eyes let me know if you are angry, happy or just being mischievous. While you look a lot like your brother, your physical features favor your mama. My newborn pictures look a lot like you, although you and Brother are looking more and more alike as each day passes.
Ethan Matthew (Baby B), entered the world weighing 6 lbs. You are much more laidback than your brother. The only time you really fuss is if your pacifier falls out of your mouth while you are trying to fall asleep. I love how you constantly have your hands on your face or cheeks, just like you did in all of our ultrasound pictures. We call you the lazy one, but really you’re just an easy going fella. The looks you give with your eyes, chubby cheeks and half smile melt my heart every single day. You favor your daddy more than you do me. You definitely have more of the Asian features, especially in your eyes. In general, you’re just a content little soul, and you are the yin to your brother’s yang. You balance one another well.
I’ve had you home with me for a little over a week now, and I’m still in awe of the two little miracles God has given us. Taking care of twins is a lot of work, but I wouldn’t trade this new life of mine for anything in the world! I am more content falling into the role of motherhood than I have ever been with any other job I’ve ever had. Yes, I am tired, but the feeling of love, peace and contentment overwhelm the physical feelings of fatigue and exhaustion. I have a sense of completion when I look at our little family at night.
To my two sons, this is my very last letter to you in this blog series. I have thoroughly enjoyed journaling my journey through this pregnancy. The same emotions that overwhelmed me when I saw that positive pregnancy test months ago, overwhelmed me once again when the doctors placed you in my arms for the first time. No words….I had no words….just tears from all sorts of emotions wrapped up into one moment. That’s how this journey started on that late summer morning when I saw two pink lines on a
HPT, and that’s exactly how it ended on
an early spring day when I saw you and held you for the first time. You have
given me a new purpose in life. I truly
never knew the love of a mother until I became one. There is nothing quite like it. What a gift you have given me. At just a few days old, you’ve already shown
me a new kind of love. A deeper more
intense love that I can not possibly explain.
We are truly blessed. Life as I
know it will never be the same. From the
moment I held you in my arms, you changed me for the better. We thank God everyday for choosing us to be
your parents. We don’t take lightly the
responsibility that He has given us, as your parents, to love and nurture you
and to raise you in a way that would honor and please Him, our Creator, the giver
of life and the One who has blessed us with the gift of parenthood.